Homesickness

 

Homesickness

"I'm sick of this boring monotonous life. I want to challenge myself through adventures."

People get sick of what they feel familiar and used to. 

But once they put significant steps across the continents and time goes on and on,

there comes homesickness,

a different kind of sickness.

Maybe we are forever feeling homesickness.

When we are at home, we are sick of routines and familiarity.

But when we leave home, we are sick from missing what we took for granted. 

In the winter season,

students leave their homes in the US.

Campus gets tranquil without the buzzing sounds.

A landlord sends us an email to remind us to lock the doors and take trash out. 

Sun sets too early to feel less lonely being, eating, and sleeping at home alone. 

No matter how loud I turn my favorite music on, it gets quieter in the air.

I come to prefer slower, downer, and more somber music to play and sing along.

But my mind gets busier in the last week of the semester, overwhelmed by responsibilities about everything except myself, taking care of my heart and body. 

So... homesickness season eventually came. 

And one good thing is that after several months of not articulating what I feel here, 

I finally pour my heart out impulsively, being immersed. 

Homesickness tags along with us every moment. 

Wherever we belong, we long for somewhere else out there. 

Or even some people out there. 

Longing feeling is inevitable, I guess.

And definitely, that incessant desire leads us to unpredictable places and people. 

Longing minds feed the hunger for change and chase for higher purposes.

Yeah, I would rather long for what I do not have right now than settling in. 

Anyway, even though we are living in a monotonous phase,

there are never the same moments. 

If we choose to look at things differently, there are always things that make us feel refreshed and inspired. 

Even a piece of art,

a stream of songs,

a new flavor of ice cream,

a random page of books,

a short conversation with a stranger,

and a lucky finding at a vintage store can be that tiny little inspiration that wakes our tedious mind up. 

The opposite is also true.

No matter what we are facing in a new country, lifestyle, and different people.

There are always moments that make us feel at home. 

A random act of kindness from strangers,

a conversation with a new friend that went deeper for the first time,

a share of cookies I love or tears I shed secretly,

a full plate of dishes I cook from scratch that went successful and proud, 

a random word written in Korean or a random person who can speak a little bit of Korean,

and a memory that pops up randomly to bring me joy and make me giggle that flew from home to here by three seconds. 

So, I guess this is just life. 

A moderate balance between familiarity and unfamiliarity.

At least we are living better moments than a poor newborn baby 

that must go through an intense shock of an entirely new world full of strange this and that.