Moments when love turns into something tangible and perceptible

Moments when love turns into something tangible and perceptible 

In reality, love is overused to describe what it means and is like.

To call some feelings or actions LOVE freely doesn't feel accurate. 

For me, defining love seems to be capricious and meaningless.

Instead, I remember personal moments when I felt that I was genuinely loving the ones and earnestly loved by the ones. 

#1

When you said that you feel so sad and disappointed after you found out you couldn't buy the book you desperately wanted to read due to the suspension of publication, 

I secretly searched to see if I can buy a used one.

And then I happily found one and ordered it to surprise you. 

More than I expected, you almost cried with happiness and seemed to be the most blissful person in the world that night. 

So I also felt merry from your happiness. 

#2

We were dating, walking down the avenue. 

We were holding hands and you suddenly stared at me with an overjoyed face.

Starry eyes and crescent-moon-like mouth you had and said to me that

you are so happy and honored to be with me. 

And you started to cavort and jump so I got a bit embarrassed and excited by your cute passion. 

#3

You said so many times that I am the first one to try something new in your life.

Because of me, 

for the first time,

you danced with me,

you gave me a ride on your shoulders at the party,

you had me ride on your back when my feet hurt,

you cried for my sorrow and cried from jealousy,

you wrote a letter full of words and sentences,

you used a facial cleanser and moisturizer,

you had a nightmare of me dying,

you had a nap so peacefully,

your insomnia had gone,

you traveled to such beautiful locations together,

you tried Korean dishes and learned Korean,

and you hold my hands, kissed me, and gave me all of your emotions and affection 

with your clumsy behaviors and sincere confessions. 

# 4

You said 

I am like a tulip, the most beautiful woman in the world.

You were riding me a swing and I was looking up to you, 

and you said that 

you feel true happiness for the first time in your life thanks to me,

which made me almost cry. 

You were promising our future together,

planning what to do and achieve to make it real,

and introduced me to your friends and family. 

You never did what I really didn't like,

such as spelling Korean slang or way too childish pranks. 

Although it was pretty cute. 

# 5

I felt like a wonder woman who can do anything for you,

or at least like a mom who wants to do everything for you. 

But I also felt like the most helpless person in the world when I lost you,

and continuously reminded myself of regretful moments that I did not fully appreciate. 

And now that I know that we did our best despite our naiveness and toughness of reality.

So I cannot help but bless you sincerely and wish you the best of best in the upcoming days of you. 

# 6 

When you were such a desperate person due to the struggles of your family,

I was also so frustrated and sad for you. 

I prayed for you and tried hard to make you feel God's love.

And it worked out so much that you became happier than you had been. 

I felt alive thanks to you

and it seemed that nothing could disconnect our love and care for each other

even though it is just too hard to handle. 

And now that I realized that we were so vulnerable to endure when we were getting tired and saddened by continuously happening struggles. 

But I still sincerely hope that you will be able to believe one day that you are the luckiest person and have the best life ahead of you and the loving people around you. 

I will keep praying for you, may God turn your scars into stars. 

Besides the moments that I wrote down with some words that were lacking in expressing my very feelings and moods, there have been so many blessings for me to experience what is to love and to be loved. 

And I feel clearer and more confident 

that I must have made valuable people once upon a time blissful with my unstinting love and dedication,

and also that I am supposed to have much more chances from now on 

to learn how to express and enjoy love with someone unknown yet. 

So one day, before I finish the journey of my life,

the concept of love would be way more transparent by the accumulated moments of love,

which makes blurry understandings of love more tangible and perceptible.