To abandon unnecessary anticipation toward life and partner

 

To abandon unnecessary anticipation toward life and partner

Regardless of the environment and sources one has, people are inclined to motivate and cheer someone by making one think in a brighter way, which is mainly about the possibility. 

"Presumably, you will gain what you strive for someday, somehow."

"Efforts and passion you put into your dream will definitely lead you to make it true."

"Take the examples of renowned people who were once deep in the water before but rode out a storm. You can also make use of your failures and time waiting for the next phase for something greater upcoming in your future."

But now that I realized that life itself doesn't have its major purpose and intention in actualizing what WE pursue and look forward to, which we set according to our own calculation and judgment. 

To make it more specific, the main goal of life is breaking our preconceptions and prejudices in our way of thinking and looking at the world and people surrounding us differently. 

All things considered, the most beautiful and exceptional moments in our lives were all about what we couldn't predict in advance but earned undeservingly. 

From my experience, 

they were 

unconditional love from parents and friends after being stuck in despair with self-hatred,

what I faced and met during the unexpected journey that led to new relationships and instructions,

putting the puzzles of trials and errors together by reflecting on the past and appreciating the present,

getting naive affection from innocent people saying that I meant a lot to them,

and some twists that changed my mindset and solid plans for life by teaching and leading me to a better way than I expected. 

Even though I am a kind of planned and organized person who is mostly into taking advantage of using any daily planner stuff, I would rather choose to be more flexible and wait for the reaction of life to what I would do my best. 

The same hypothesis goes for the relationship either. 

For the first few relationships I've ever had, I longed for the expressions and dedications full of love, which I wished to be similar to mine, from my partner so that I can feel secure and content relying on some intense feelings and satisfaction through them. 

But the more I anticipate what I desire in my ways in others, the more reluctant they became in expressing their love in a natural and honest way. 

In fact, by giving pressure and expectations on a partner to make them show what I feel drowned and easy in the relationship, I was preventing myself from experiencing a variety of different ways of appreciating love and care from the beloved person. 

Actually...

I was able to feel enough security by having someone who was always caring for me by treating me with nice suppers and dates. 

I had many opportunities to enjoy love from a partner who was always dedicated to me by spending his time & efforts and having solid trust in me and our future, even by giving up what he might choose for something convenient and beneficial for himself. 

I was lucky to have someone who can listen to me and talk to me in a smoother way than I can ever imagine and was always confident about my future dreams.

So... 

 next time! 

I would just accept who the partner is and whatever way he uses in expressing love toward me and just feel grateful about it. 

Last but not least, I will be willing to learn the different ways of love and make him feel worthy in my own one-of-a-kind way.

🥰✨🎁💘❤️‍🩹🎨