Different Definition

 

Different Definition

We define love from different points of view. 

It is the time when everything gets complicated. 

Someone does not see the state of mind as love,
which is wanting someone to be around and to help someone as possible. 

Someone defines it as love and someone describes it as friendship.

We define happiness with different ways of thinking. 

Someone views happiness as 'should be.'

and someone regards happiness as embracing where I am and who I am.

It leads someone to strive for countless steps to actualize life goals, 

forcing him to put more and more effort into responsibility.

It leads someone to confront what they are facing and feeling honestly,

not to regret what they choose to.

But nobody knows how they are defining this and that abstract but vital value in life.

At least, for me, I often compromise my value with what I desire at that very moment.

Desires full of greed, sorrow, gut feelings, and hidden oneself as an undergrown kid.

Sometimes these undefined values swallow me in a confusing moment of choice. 

Put in between ambivalence, I get scared of mischoice and misunderstanding myself. 

What if I am deceiving myself?

What if I am fooling others by hiding my true self?

The core and the ultimate definition of love, happiness, friendship, dream, marriage, and life itself

is floating inside of the illuminating fog of what I have chosen in my life. 

What I can do is only flail my arms by putting myself in the darkness of the mysterious fog. 

And I feel like if I can find out the core definition of mine,

then I would be able to handle all the trivial to vital life choices perfectly. 

With a solid guide for the answer, I would not waste any time and effort and just concentrate on what is crucial in every step of life, such as without having any silly arguments, guilty pleasure, or crying on moody nights. 

Then again I picture life with every solid definition of life. 

I know what to do, what to say, whom to choose to love, where to live, how to work, and whatsoever.

And I realize that it's going to be so TEDIOUS. 

I would never get the opportunity to meet others different from my perspective. 

I would never try to challenge myself to dive into the unknown world. 

I would never fall down and get broken from trials and errors and learn from them. 

I would never be able to sympathize with others' journeys in finding their own answers. 

I would never experience the gratification
of reaching the shore of the utmost answer I can make
after swimming upstreaming in the vast ocean.

However, even though I cannot figure out my dictionary written about the A to Z of values,

I would like to meet somebody with whom I can be absorbed without losing control of my stance.

I wish he can not only broaden the spectrum of life experiences, 

but also make me grounded with the bottom line in life values by having enough confidence in it. 

Living with different definitions of life would be far away from living coming up roses. 

It would trigger some altercations, misunderstandings, and discourages. 

But I would never let go of the string of hope in love that can make the impossible possible,

which can make difference be inspiration and illumination.